Track 3 · 2:48

Seconds Away

The story

Leaving church was really difficult for me. Because for me it was more than a thoughtless Sunday affair. It was a group of like minded people making our way through life together.

I had known the pastor's kids since grade school and our families were always very close. Ryan, a year younger than me, had become like a brother to me. During my senior year I even convinced my parents to let me homeschool so I could play on the same basketball team as him (along with all of my guy friends from church).

I had been on the worship team for years (with Ryan and I occasionally alternating worship leader responsibilities) and planned on becoming a worship leader one day.

And, most importantly, I took my faith seriously. I was devoutly sincere in my effort to be a man of God.

And while I felt absolutely certain about my decision to leave church for good, the decision also left me feeling a bit unsteady. I felt that God was calling me to leave the church in order to build a closer relationship with him, but that also meant venturing out into unknown waters.

This song came to me as I reflected on the enormity of the forces that swept me away from my comfortable life and everything I once knew and into an uncertain future that held for me wonderful, but terrifying promises.